This Can't Be Real

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*holsters his gun in his pants pocket*

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That’s what you get. I hope you learned a lesson.

LEARNED THAT I’M STILL THE BEST WATER GUN FIGHTER OUT THERE!

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-SQUIRTS HIM-

*THROWS THE PLASTIC GUN AT HIM*

Pfftthahaha! Whatever!

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

O^O

*AIMS WATER GUN AT HIS HEAD*

DON’T MOVE A MUSCLE. I’M THIRTEEN.

Your thir-

-laughs and shakes head-

Ahem I mean….Oh god my weakness!

-throws hands up in surrender-

How’d you know that teenagers scare the living shit out of me?

*holsters his gun in his pants pocket*

That’s what you get. I hope you learned a lesson.

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

I can shoot faster than you, if that’s what you mean!

*points his water gun at him*

-GLARES AGGRESSIVELY WHILE POINTING WATER GUN-

O^O

*AIMS WATER GUN AT HIS HEAD*

DON’T MOVE A MUSCLE. I’M THIRTEEN.

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*takes it, grunting and sitting up*

Tch! I can’t trust you. But I’ll still beat you.

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-lets go of his hand and points water gun at him-

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You think you can beat me?

I can shoot faster than you, if that’s what you mean!

*points his water gun at him*

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*opens an eye*

…and brave.

And one handsome motherfucker too.

-offers him a hand-

Round two? No cheating this time. Promise.

*takes it, grunting and sitting up*

Tch! I can’t trust you. But I’ll still beat you.

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*opens one eye, keeping a fake pained expression*

Y…you’re horrible……………..

I’ll get….I’ll get my….re…veng…e………………

*pretends to die*

-puts a hand over his heart and closes eyes dramatically-

Ah, Ted. He went out in the best way possible. Dirty, wet, and writhing on the floor.

*opens an eye*

…and brave.

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*recoils back and falls backwards*

Uggh—Nooo! BETRAYAL—!

*lies motionless on the ground face-up*

-walks over and gently kicks his motionless body-

You’re worse than my old factory employees. They sucked at watergun fights too.

-laughs-

But that didn’t stop me.

*opens one eye, keeping a fake pained expression*

Y…you’re horrible……………..

I’ll get….I’ll get my….re…veng…e………………

*pretends to die*

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

*peers over the hood of the RV*

No way! I’m not a bad guy like you! I fight for good. >:(

-SQUIRTS HIM AS SOON AS HE PEEKS OUT-

HAHAHAHHAA

*recoils back and falls backwards*

Uggh—Nooo! BETRAYAL—!

*lies motionless on the ground face-up*

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

ACK—!

*runs behind the RV*

Stop that! I’m getting wet! And you’re cheating!

-runs after him-

Okay OKAY! You get one free shot.

-holds up hands in surrender mode-

*peers over the hood of the RV*

No way! I’m not a bad guy like you! I fight for good. >:(

survivialswag:

theodore-g-wiggins:

AAAHH—!! *flinches, clutching his stomach where the water hit*

..th…that scared me! *a small smile cracks at the side of his mouth*

-squirts him again-

Thems fightin’ words, partner.

ACK—!

*runs behind the RV*

Stop that! I’m getting wet! And you’re cheating!